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Lin
Junior Member
USA
352 Posts |
 Posted - 08/04/2008 : 07:22:55
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My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything".
Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fast he guzzles is. If i go to work in the afternoon I am gone less than 3 hours. He can be fine when I leave and either passed out or extremely drunk by the time I get home. I find 2 to 3 empty pint vodka bottles. He is on meds for his BP , but I am sure they can't do their job as long as he's drinking so heavily at least twice a week.
I feel like I am once again walking on eggshells. I am afraid to say anything because of the tone of voice he answers me in. If we are out and I am driving, he criticizes everything I do...either too fast, too slow, turned too sharp, should have turned a different corner, etc. At home if I just go to ask him a question, he screams and sighs and acts like I am getting on her last nerve. Truth is, he's getting on mine.
In Jan. he saw a bag of miracle grass seed that was supposed to push out weeds and make a carpet. It was $40 a bag. He had me use the credit card and order it that night. I did. It came in last March and the bag stayed on the dining room table until May. I asked him then if he planned tlduse it any time soon. HE said he woudl when he got a pretty day. So i moved it to the carport. This past Saturday afternoon as we were coming in the house from an errand(and he'd had a pint earlier) I could not see the grass seed. I had not even looked for it since May. I asked..Have you ever used that $40 bag of grass seed? Oh MY GOD! What an ourburst! HE screamed in my face that I'd asked him that same question 4 times int he last 3 weeks..totally a lie. In a few minutes he got the bag of seed and dumped it on rocks and gravel in the back yard (flower beds) and threw the empty bag at me and told me I could shut up aboth it now,. There was alot of cussing and screaming about the grass seed. Outbursts like htat over the least little things are very common these days,.
Later he asid If he hears me complain about anything else, he'll throw it away. He said even if it is the new laptop we bought Friday or the new TV we bought 3 weeks ago.
I can tell when he's had a drink beccaue he mellows out for a few hours or a day or two. Then he gets anxious again,. agitated, what I call GROUCHY.
I'd jsut love to be treated with a little respect. I know I can't force him to quit drinking if he's not ready. BUt it sure woudl be nice to be talked to like a decent human beaing instead of something on the bottom of your shoe.
I try to remind myself all of the things I've learned in15 years of AlAnon...to detach, that he has s a disease, not to take it so personally. But it's getting so hard. How do you deal with mood swings?
LIN
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ChrissyV
New Member
59 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2008 : 08:45:35
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| Mood swings are the hardest part of anything to deal with and when its intertwined with alcoholism.....to put it in easy language...it's a bitch!! There is nothing worse than being treated like crap when you know you haven't done anything wrong. The "in your face" attitude is enough to drive anyone over the edge. Why don't you try talking to the doctor about it maybe there is something he can do. And be frank about it all tell him exactly what you are experiencing. Only other thing I can say is...stay away from him and totally detaching is probably a good thing. I know it's hard but its better than having him in your face every day for absolutely no reason except for his unstable mental attitude at the moment. Sorry you are having to go through it and it kinda beats us alanons down, but be strong and stay away from it as much as possible. |
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Lin
Junior Member
USA
352 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2008 : 15:29:04
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Thanks Chrissy! I chaired my f2f alanon last ngiht and the topic I picked was DETACHMENT. The reading I foudn reminded us that when we detach with love, we need to include LOVE for ourselves and we should do something good for US. That's what I did. I went to my meeting. I went out for a Diet cherry limeade, I visited with a sponsee, I went to the mall. I feel bette today.
LIN |
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ChrissyV
New Member
59 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2008 : 10:59:23
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| Good for you Lin |
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dealing with mood swings?
