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Woody
Administrator
USA
304 Posts |
 Posted - 12/15/2007 : 13:00:02
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This is one of my favorite topics. I believe it applies to more than one step. But I guess step 12 would be the closest. One of the problems I've had, especially during early recovery and life in general, is that I tend to react rather than respond to a person place or thing. I think it may be part of human nature. When a situation presents itself that I don't agree with or one that evokes a negative feeling within me, my tendency was to react and not respond. A reaction is more spontaneous than a response. A response may require a degree of hesitation, which is a good thing in and of itself. Now this wouldn't necessarily apply to things like driving. By the time you've responded, the damage may already be done. On the other hand, when some asshole driver cuts me off or does something really stupid, that's the time when a response would have a better result than a reaction. A reaction would be to yell and scream and flip the person off. A response might be more like pulling up next to them, smiling and throwing them a kiss. It makes me feel better, and most of the time surprises the hell out of the other person. But from there I can go my merry way and not be pissed off anymore. In dealing with recovery, it's almost a sure thing that a response would evoke a positive result, or at least it wouldn't get me aggravated about it, It's like physically letting go and letting God. The other positive aspect is the pause that is required to evoke a response. That pause may be just the thing I need to do to help me let go. It gives me the opportunity to think about it the situation. Sometimes the pause is good enough to allow me the opportunity to think about what the proper response should be, if anything. The same principals apply to dealing with people like at meetings etc. Sometimes silence itself is the most appropriate response. Silence is a very powerful tool when conversing with anyone. Besides, it makes them wonder what YOU are thinking.
Anyway, it was just a thought I wanted to share.
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iowama
New Member
68 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2007 : 18:53:33
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I'm happy to be able to report that I'm much more responsible and disciplined and LOVING in how I respond to human beings today.
Honest, I don't get angry with other drivers, don't flip 'em off....nuffin'.....
Scary, huh?! LOL
I'd like to say I don't know how that happened, but that'd be a lie.
Discipline--practicing principles...over and over and over again. Whether I 'felt like it' or not.
Cuz I don't haffta WANNA be nice to BE nice. (so I was told.....)
It's not required that I haffta WANNA do anything to DO it.
And all that practice--changed my thinking. NO foolin'!
My first thought isn't how I'm gonna kill someone and where I'm gonna hide the body anymore!
Every once in a while I'm pausing to search through my brain--kinda like when you get a tooth pulled and you're searching around with your tounge lookin' for that tooth that's missing--cuz it feels.......funny.
NOT that I'm knocking it.....at all!
It's way easier today than it's EVER been.
And I'm loving that absolutely NOone gets to mess with serenity and peace, today.
LOL I'm such a control freak. WHY I surrendered that to other people in the first place is beyond me! |
~~~True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of G-d.~~~ |
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Jeanne
Starting Member
16 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2007 : 06:26:33
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| Watching the tube with kids and daughter's boyfriend Christmas nite, daughter says something and I didn't realize she was JUST talking to bf so I asked her what she said...she called me nosey and always wanting to butt in. I kept silent. A little while later, daughter and bf getting ready to leave and she tries to start some drama about something stupid her brother said...and bf said his 2 cent worth too..I kept silent..so it wouldn't go further. They left...I was mad. I dont' know...it is hard for me to keep silent and not do battle. Jeanne |
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Respond vs react.
