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Lin
Junior Member
USA
352 Posts |
 Posted - 10/15/2007 : 06:25:45
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I often wonder what I can do to help the folks I meet at my f2f meetings. I found out firsthand yesterday. My name was on the phone list for my home group. A lady who had been attending a while but had never called me, needed to talk. It was 4 AM. SHe had heard me say often that I get up at 2 or 3 in the mornign and she knew I'd be awake. We talked for over an hour. I mostly LISTENED.She was so happy I was available that time of day to LISTEN. We were both blessed by having the opportunity to share and care and LISTEN.
LIN
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MajestyJo
Average Member
Canada
590 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2007 : 09:22:56
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Thank you for sharing Lin. It is a real blessing to get those calls. I always seem to get them when I haven't been to a meeting, my health isn't good and I am in pain. The best way to get out of self is help someone else.
My Al-Anon sponsor called me the other day. She had some questions about addiction and was trying to understand the addict in her life. I am grateful that I have been on both sides of the fence and can understand were the alcoholic is coming from as well as the family.
I was on the Twelve Step List for AA for many years. Due to health issues I had to take my name off as I wasn't able to go out and meet people and take them to meetings. My Al-Anon group has what we call a Friendship List and I am on that.
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Love Always,
Each Day is a New Beginning, so have a great one. |
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Woody
Administrator
USA
304 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2007 : 02:53:06
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| Listening..... one of the most important aspects of life. When I was training salemen, it was a difficult concept to teach. We often find ourselves thinking about the next thing we're going to say instead of listening to the answer to the questions we ask. With the type of selling I used to do, there was always a reason to ask questions. If we didn't stop to listen to the answer, we couldn't comprehend the purpose of the next question. In fact, the major responsibilty of the salesman was to gather information. An impossible task when you're too busy talking or thinking. The same principles apply in recovery. We can't help anyone if we don't have good listening skills. Early in the program, I didn't really want answers to questions, I just wanted someone who would listen to me. I had to learn to listen as I went along my journey to recovery. Sometimes it was just a matter of hearing, but not listening. A very common situation. I know I often find myself hearing someone, but not really listening to them. It was something I think I learned in school. Perhaps that's why I wasn't a very good student. I never really learned anything until I learned to listen. Just ask my mother. And with that said, I'd better end this post. :) |
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Lin
Junior Member
USA
352 Posts |
Posted - 10/23/2007 : 04:41:33
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Thanks Jo and Woody for the replies. I do think listening is so important. The lady who called said she felt so much beter after her call because she felt she had really bee LISTENED to...and it felt good.
LIN |
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Carol87
Starting Member
16 Posts |
Posted - 10/24/2007 : 17:10:15
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That reminds me of early recovery when I was talking to my sponsor and she kept interjecting her comments ... I finally said something like 'I don't want your comments, I just want you to LISTEN!' ... which she honored ... here is a favorite from my personal files ...
Could You Just Listen?
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me
why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem, you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen,
not talk to or do-just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 50 cents will get you both
Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same paper.
I can do for myself; I'm not helpless -
maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear of inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about this business
of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.
When that's clear, the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make some sense when we understand
what's behind them.
Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people -
because God is mute, and doesn't give advice
or try to fix things. God just listens
and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn -and I'll listen to you.
author unknown
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MajestyJo
Average Member
Canada
590 Posts |
Posted - 10/24/2007 : 20:57:47
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Thank you for sharing this. Haven't seen it for a long time. Thanks for the reminder. My son asked this of me about a year ago. I needed to remember to look at the person not the disease.
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Love Always,
Each Day is a New Beginning, so have a great one. |
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Lin
Junior Member
USA
352 Posts |
Posted - 11/17/2007 : 04:43:31
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Carol's poem tells exactly what I was talking about. LISTENING.
It works in my recovery. It works in both of my jobs. It works in relationships with freinds and family. Great skill to work on!
LIN |
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Littlepistol
New Member
USA
58 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2007 : 07:15:52
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OK it's very early, no one else up and I'm having a great "GOD morning" Serveral days will go by and I'll just check in quickly and not read all that is here. I remember the days when I read every post, every day. It just was part of my life to be in touch with all the great people that have come and gone on this site and the old AEB site. So this morning I felt compelled to read what I'd been missing. There has been alot going on in my life. It's the holiday season and that is a very hard season for persons in recovery as well as for kids in foster care, adopted etc.
I do try to listen especially to these children. I'm finding that I was a much better listener with my bio children as they grew up and I really need to relearn that talent. Thanks Carol for posting this great piece. I've printed it off so I can post it on my desk to see and read everyday. Perhaps that ability to listen will again become natural to me.
HUGS,
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LET GO LET GOD
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend.
I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said,
"What could I do? You never did let go." |
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just listen
